7

David Gunn [composer, writer, isosogist]

Postcard parables are short stories from the flip sides of picture postcards that, over the past few years, I’ve either found or created, then mailed to my friend Pamela Polston (a.k.a. Queen Quantoo). A standard U.S. postcard measures only 5½"×3½", but ever since I got hold of a really teeny typewriter, I’ve managed to squeeze up to 450 words of crucial exposition into one story. For ever shaggier tales in the offing, I’ll include a link to a pair of reading glasses.

Acme Tent	Collectomometer	King Bob	Open Range	Torobongo
Agent Jetglas	Convertin	Lake Portage	Ozzie and Tanya	Trigger, Part 1
At Carnegie	Dear Patty (1)	Leaf Peepers	Phyllis’ Transformation	Trigger, Part 2
Atomic Robot Corp.	Dear Patty (2)	Loch Ness	Pied du Gorille	Trigger, Part 3
Baby Quantoo	Doris’ Piano	Lois	Pie R Squared	Tuna P. Wiggle
Balloonman	Dr. Beezer	Longsnouts	Pringler Hat	Ulnuf
Bat Mann	Eat At ...	Louie Louie	Professor Smacko	What You Want
Bicycle Queen	Eating Right	Lulu	Queen Quantoo	Willie Sutton
Big Gingham	Esther’s Inheritance	Marge	Red  Team	Wobblies
Black Bart	Farmer Brown	Mascaraman	RMS Olympic	Yarngirl
Blanche’s Bad Dream	First Aid	McGillicuddy Sisters	Sedoña Cactus	Zontamk, Part 1
Bonnie and Clyde	Flora and Flossie	Merle’s Headache	Sheila	Zontamk, Part 2
Boondock	Fred	Mick Rat	Sour Grapes	Zontamk, Part 3
Collette’s Big Hat	What’s Behind Rags?	The Power of Suggestion	Size Matters	In the Kitchen at Midnight
Boys in the Band	From Ventnor	Milt	Stepford Plan	The Decapitamometer
Brad’s Bad Day	Gerard	MoleTown	The Fence	The Pringler Call Center
Bud Bottoms	Gert Jonnys	Moon Mullet	The Hairdresser	Starbucks
Buddy	First Contact 1	Mr. Garibaldi	The Whale	Armed and Dangerous
Bunnysaurs	I’m Melting	Mr. Television	The Zenith	The Bubble Dome
Bunyip Bedpans	Jacques Spratt	Ninjas	Tidybowlman	Never-U-Fail
Cementland	Jim Bango	Oh, Noh!	Tony the Toe	Casa Shirley
Benö Guttman	Pedro Piper	The Preventilator	The Pringler Chimneysweeper	The Double A’s
That Lightheaded Feeling	Or Best Offer	Clobber and Fungie	Aquerulous	Triomegunberg
Olé	The Slug	At the Banketbakkerij	The Braincage	The McGillicuddy Backstory
Is that a Gun in your Pocket?	The Great Malaxo	Big Ed	Schwinndjammer	Sunhats
Bésame Mucho	Queen Quantoo’s Change of Life	The MMRL	Gretchen’s Songbirds	La maison du nez
The Hypnagogue	Dora the Demolition Dancer	How Many Fingers?	For better or for worse	Julie and L’étrange
Caveat Emptor	Fidough and RoveR	Aqua Nun	The Dog Whisperer	What Knot?
Fred and Freda	The Soothsayer	The Apple Pickers	Florsheim	Wrongheadedness
The Kyphosis Cure	The Ventriloquist	The Somnambulist	Identical Twins	Funny Money
The Dish and the Spoon	The Fly	The Perm	Calamity at the Debutante Ball	What Lemuel Hath Wrought
Missfallen Sie nicht Ilse!	The Third Corollary	Convert-a-Gender™	Jarabe Tapatío	The Windows of Luigi Peccadillo
Nora	Acme Adult Diaper Co.	Personal Secretary	Meptang, Merchant of Chains	Jumbo’s Blind Date
Forkman	Robin’s Eggs	The Acupressurer	Eye of the Hurricane	Captane Jujjoo
Nettie and Betty	Edna Sue and the DNCR	How Big?	Pothead	No Complainer, He!
The Drac-u-Latte	The Perfect Likeness	The Iceman Cometh	Lola Palooza Airways	Nutri-Clyster
Next Available	The Woxes	Duck and Cover	The Rockettes	Clear Enunciation
High Society	The Transferatron	Silver Queen	Cloak and Dagger	Acme Dance Partner
The Vasectomizer	Laksheesh	Spoonful of Honey	The Liposuctionizer	Dr. Pincatcher’s Legacy
The Class Project	The Dowser	Collateral Damage	The Manicure	The First Step
Jaws	Jeeves	Queen of the Night	King Sullivan’s Mine	The Brand in Demand™
World’s Funniest Joke	Ding!	Skeeters	Flingspearing	Out-of-Body
The Expandomometer	At Chez Kibble	Dalton versus Brutus	Secret Shriner Handshake	Esther
Fluffy	Across the Steppes	Julie Jupiter	An Embarrassing Moment	World’s Greatest Wiper
Goo Goo G’joob	The Daring Dinklakers	The Zaparo Brothers	Multitasking	Les Flambeaux
Alfred Eisenstatic	The Hyper-eyeballometer	The Mobile Phone	A Fish Story	Head in a Tuba
The Carney	The Flamboni Way	Kitchen Magician	The Venus Flydress	Boxing Day
The Preakness, 1956	Pickleberry Jam	You Are Getting ... Sleeeepy	The Everly Brothers	Early Gort
The Boy Who Walked on Water	Whither the Crumbsnatcher?	Lot’s Lot	Point and Shoot	Toast
Forrest amongst the Trees	Transformer	The Model 5	Amazing Amelia	Ringaround
S+R÷T=VG	Carspotting	The First PDA	Tweet!	Newton’s Third Law
Group of Ten	Chester and Nikita	Minnie and Mickey I	Minnie and Mickey II	The Foot Warmer
Contretemps	Floaters	Merit Badges	The Best Things	In the Eye of ...
The Onset	The Poundometer	Empirical Data	The Pipe Cleaner	Crabby Old Lady
Le Big Boy	l’Ecran Magique	Ant Farm Weekend	The Pen	The Dirty Bird
Madame Zaborga	Eternal Masculinity	Electric Shoes	Advantage: Acrocephaly	Tripudio Oculus
Ketchum	The EQs	Sweet Revenge	A Conchous Decision	The Yukonians
All Sales Final	Cuticulum Enlargibilis	Cow Vows	Acute Vasomotor Flush	Fat Man
Proceed To Fire!	I ♥ What?!	Bobby	Leave it to Cleaver	Die Falschen Nasen
Be Careful ...	Dial-A-Hypnotist	On the Road	Which Came First?	Lawn Darts circa 1966
Free Kick	Little Audrey	Catch It If You Can	Drink Dinklaker Tea	Suitcase Living
Exceedingly Hand-some	Sentience Sentry	Eighth and Sycamore	Waiting for You-Know-Who	The Clockhat
Myrna	The Swan Maiden	Pinocchio: The Later Years	The Man of 1,000 Faces	Tuesday Welder
The Multitasker	Buffaloland	Smack in the Zaknob	On the Steps	Mickey Mouse Mob
Acme Turbo Bath	Gen. Tso’s Chicken	Prelude to Guernica	World’s Biggest Sneeze	The Krocwich
Cankles	Fred and Ginger 1	Fred and Ginger 2	Ups and Downs	At the Borborygmus Ball
Taxi-dermy	Point, Shoot, and Cheer	First Contact 2	Sheeplady	The Acme Hairnet
Brad’s Barbecues	The Blemtaur	First Contact 3	Canadian Brass	Jack + Jill
Rudolph	The Kitchen Magician	First Contact 4	The Jungle Cruise	The Model 2
An Unethical Experiment	Doctors Without Internes	Eeeeeee!	Batman	The Model 3
Ethel and the Merman	The New Hire	Le crachoir électrique	At the Car Wash Institute	From Humble Beginnings
Sumo-Cat	DECC	Blame it on Lola	Girl in the Moon	Ferrante and Teicher
El Sapo Gordo	In a Foreign Nasal Corridor	The Fall of London Bridge	Veni, Vidi, Vici	Birth of the Lightsaber
One Two, One Two	The Breema Manipulation	Babyface	The Master Camouflager	The Avid Fisherman
Acme Pencil Sharpening Co.	The Divine Joe Lewis	Obliterato vs. Audrey	Launch of the Cruise Missiles	You Get What You Pay For
There was an old woman ...	Bongo Fever	The Footwear Filcher	The White Mud of Minsk	Le Lapin Puissant
Invisibaton	Baker’s Man	Statues Ain’t So Smart	More Collateral Damage	The Scapegoat
Godzilla: The Early Years	Lemon Queen	The Higgs Boson	Earl the Hurl	When Hamsters Conquered the Earth
No Pain, No Gain	Jerome’s Driving Test	The Brisman	Bring It On!	Homo Squirrelli
1500 p.s.i.	Travel Restrictions	When GPS Units Go Bad	What Bob Felt	The Stretch-o-Matic
The Distraction	The Once Promising Spook	How to Serve Pancakes	The Brothers Hasenpfeffer	The Gagman
The American Way	Monstrosis	The Chain Smoker	Form Follows Function	A.k.a. Robert Zimmerman
Bait	Heart Surgery	El Brazo Recto	The Dinklaker Effect	The Diorama
Right vs. Wrong	The Donor	The Aesthetician	The Crocodilogist	Shuffleboard: The Beginning
The Bat-chyderm	Mel and Sheeba	Eva’s Housecleaning Service	Der Yodel-Off	Gladys Ginormous
The DDDDetector	The Number 6	The Proto-Airstream	Wind Noise	The Shoeshine
At the Hair Stylist	The Carpus-Bearing Clock	Enid	When worms fell from the sky	At Santa’s Laboratory
Gobsmacked	A Barrel of Laffs	Mrs. Godzilla	The Best Barber in the World	Bernard
The Hair Salon and Body Spa	The Original Odd Couple	Yucca Flat	The Tambourinistas	Je ne sais quoi
Dapper Dan	Bird	The Knitter	Joyce, Jeannette, and Monica	The Lamprey Liberation League
The Merry Men	Hypocrisy	Grapefruit Queen	Yin and Yang	The Broomers
Norman	The New Food Court	Distracted Driving	Oops	Whence the Red Nose?
Cousin Enid	The Moltaphant	That Fateful Saturday	Pie in the Sky	Parallel Parking
The Testimonials	The Takeover	Do the Hokey-Pokey	Ol’ Squinty	Attention to Detail
The Dinky Dinklaker

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